My son’s death was not good.
Chad had to face another Father’s Day without all of his kids…that is not good.
Since Paxton left, two other people very close to me have had to bury their sons…that is not good.
Have you ever taken Scripture out of context or not understood its meaning? I’ve done it many times. When I was younger, I remember reading Proverbs 17:17 which says “a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity”. I never felt more validated…that’s why my brother was mean to me…he was born to be! Let’s be honest…I was just as mean to him and that is not what that verse means.😁
Jeremiah 29:11 is another verse that isn’t fully understood…at least I didn’t understand the meaning. It says “for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Doesn’t that sound so warm and fuzzy…like God wants us to be happy and comfortable? The danger of taking a verse out of context is making it fit into our narrative. Jeremiah is writing this letter to Isrealites that are being held captive in Babylon. Many of them would die in captivity. That’s not warm, fuzzy, happy, comfortable or good.
That brings me to Romans 8:28. It says “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him”. It is a beautiful verse, full of comfort and hope. It reminds me that God is good and He is working. It brings comfort to me by assuring me that God can bring good out of anything. What it DOES NOT say (or mean) is everything is good.
A lot of times, we think because God is working all things for good that means we have to be okay with everything…that bad things become good. That is not true! Jesus gives us a perfect example in the story of Lazarus. When he saw Mary weeping over the loss of her brother (John 11), it says Jesus was deeply moved. If you look at the original Greek, it literally means He snorted in anger! He knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead. He knew that awful thing would be used for good, but He was still angry at death because death was not good.
Our church has been preaching through the book of Romans. A good friend of ours, who also happens to be one of our teaching pastors, asked us if we’d be willing to do a video about how Romans 8:28 applies to trauma and grief. We agreed with the understanding that we would be talking about our grief journey and the wrestling we’re going through. We were allowed to finish the video without wrapping it up in a pretty little bow, because there are things that will never be wrapped up this side of heaven. They graciously allowed us to share our story, our heart and our lament. (I’ll post the video and the sermon below.)
So friends, God is good, but suffering is not and it needs to be acknowledged. You can have hope without having a happy face. You can have joy without justifying the hard. You can have peace without putting a positive spin on everything. If you are suffering, if you are wrestling, if you are facing things that aren’t good (which we all are), it’s okay. The ultimate good God is working is eternal. There are things that will never be good this side of eternity…but we have a good God who will redeem those things in heaven.
God is good. He has brought good from Paxton’s death and I pray and believe He will continue to do so. But…
Paxton’s death was not good…
Paxton’s death is not good…
Paxton’s death WILL NEVER BE GOOD.
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not everything that happens is good
death was not your original plan
perfection, paradise in Eden
shattered by woman and man
chaos, pain and sickness began
You can bring good out of anything
You can take our suffering
and use it for Your glory
but it doesn’t take away the sting
it doesn’t make the story
easy to read
and You can bring
beauty from ashes
but that doesn’t mean
the ashes are gone or
the beauty will be seen
this side of eternity
what it does mean
is I can reach for my King
Man of Sorrows
acquainted with my grief
I can bring
my hurt
my questions
my wrestling
I can look to You for strength
I can trust that one day
all will be redeemed
the God kiss 