the unraveling…

Jim Carrey once said “grief is not just an emotion, it’s an unraveling”.

Everyone’s life is a tapestry that is woven together through every moment and experience.  My story hasn’t always been easy, but I thought I knew what my finished tapestry would look like. Then 12/12/22 happened, followed by 1/25/23 and the unraveling began. The person I was came apart thread by thread. 

My life, my tapestry, is being rewoven.  New patterns are being formed by weaving…

threads of sorrow and suffering with threads of sweetness and simplicity…

threads of pain and peril with threads of peace and promise…

threads of chaos and confusion with threads of comfort and care…

threads of grief and groaning with threads of grace and gratitude…

Some days the beauty is hard to see. At times the loom seems to hold a jumbled mess of yarn, not an amazing work of art and that can be hard and scary to look at. I want to know what the finished picture will look like. I want to know that the unraveling was worth it. 

The unraveling has been painful. It is not what I wanted and I long to go back to the person I was 12/11/22. But, I am not the Weaver and I don’t hold the loom. I can hold on and have hope only because the Creator of the universe is gently putting me back together, thread by thread, and I know the tapestry He is creating will be more beautiful than I could ever imagine. 

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the tapestry of my life

doesn’t look the way I thought it would

the way I hoped it would

the unraveling 

the pulling apart

changes the person you are

at times I’m too close to see

the whole picture

at times the beauty

is hidden from me

but the one who knit me together

continues to gently weave

these tattered threads

of sorrow and joy

and this hurting mama’s heart

into a new

intricate 

priceless

work of art